she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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