they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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