It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
how drunk are you?
Several
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
