Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
