one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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