took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
