this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize