i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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