I didn't shave. On purpose
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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