sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
