she was so not down for the gang bang
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
