she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
