Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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