so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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