Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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