Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
