bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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