hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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