Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
