I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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