I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
