I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
