Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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