Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
