so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
