So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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