I've blown a few things in my day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
