your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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