I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I wear drunk well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
