whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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