speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
