She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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