that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
