Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Randomize
