FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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