Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm really busy with my period
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