just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
