we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
