Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just threw up on my dentist
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
