She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
