I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
