Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
