I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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