hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dick very happy bro
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
