Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
