You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
