So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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