Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
