I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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