I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
