moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
