Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
