I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
