She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
