Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
