I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
