I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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