why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
