i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
