Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
