I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
