Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize