i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
