My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
