I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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