We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize