Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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