I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
